In 2008, you asked me to write something about you. I did. Several times. But none were ever published. Some were written when I was so enamored of you. They were so cheesy, so full of love and affection and all things that sung my praises of you that even I got embarrassed when I read them. Some I wrote when I was so angry at you of which most were written during our several break ups. In these, I have cursed you, called you terrible names and blamed you for every bad thing that happened in this world for hurting me.The things I wrote were too emotional, very raw and my heart was so transparent. This was the reason why I discarded them and the things I wrote were never published.
Has anything changed? Am I not enamored of you anymore? Don't I ever get mad at you anymore? Am I indifferent to you now, that's why I can already write about you without putting my heart on my sleeve? Nothing changed. I am still so in love with you just like I was then when I met you almost 9 years ago. No, I don't feel the same way as I did when we were first together. My feelings now are much more intense than before. I still get so excited before every single date we have and in a daze after. My day officially starts with your "Gud am" and gets completed with your "Ingat! Mwah! Luv u!". Your voice is still my favorite sound that after every call, every talk with you my heart is singing. You still make me smile and laugh. You make me happy.
I still get so angry at you. There were times you forget to do things you promised to do or times when you change your mind at the last minute. Or when you don't get my joke that I had to explain it to you. I get so frustrated when I want to talk to you and I can't. Sometimes we misunderstand each other and I get so angry I throw tantrums. If there is any change, its the way we deal with our situation and our acceptance of it. Just 3 days ago, you said, "Ang galing no? Di na tayo nag aaway..." and I realized, oo nga ano? We don't fight about petty things anymore. We argue a lot, yes, because we have our own opinions and beliefs, which we learned to respect. Just like you said, our relationship is like wine, it gets better with age.
Ours is not a perfect relationship. In fact, it is far from it. But we are making it work. There are still trials and challenges that our relationship would face. But as long as we both are there for each other, it will work. And as time has proven, life is nothing without you and I together. imdloylnurdloml.
